To make a 22 year long story short, my life has consisted of people trying to make me something I'm not. Just to set the record straight, sometimes that person was me. I would convince myself that I had to be like "so-and-so", do what "so-and-so" does, or say what "so-and-so" says in order to be who I want to be and get to where I want to be in life. It was not until recently that I discovered all that negativity was just lies holding me back from becoming the person God created me to be. For the purpose of this blog entry, allow me to share this with you all. I was born with no bone in the second to last toe on my right foot; a trait I recieved from my mother. All my life I have had people both grossed out and fascinated by it. I was even offered surgery to fix it when I was younger, but I rejected the offer. After all, it's pretty unique. The best part is that I LOVE sandals! Now, I told you that to tell you this story.
I walked into class on a regular Wednesday afternoon and my teacher, who I love dearly, could instantly read the stress and frustration in my eyes. I proceeded to tell her all the things in my life that was bothering me, as I do just about every week. It was then that I began to notice the frustration in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she told me about someone making a certain negative remark about me and my singing technique behind my back the previous week and how she defended me when I wasn't there to defend myself. I thanked her and passively said "story of my life". This comment made her even more irritated and she looked me in the eyes and said, "But there is nothing wrong with your voice. Why would you ever allow people to make you something you're not? You are beautifully, uniquely and wonderfully made!" She then showed me a scar on her leg and told me when she was in the 8th grade, she tried to open a glass door with her foot and her foot ended up going straight through the door. When she tried to pull her foot back out, she cut her leg and left about a 6 inch scar along the side of her calf. She missed the main artery by about 1 millimeter. She could have bled out and possibly died if she would have cut it! Especially considering how big the cut was. Later on, a doctor offered her surgery to get rid of the scar on her leg. She denied it because she said that every time she looks at the scar it reminds her that she could have died, but she didn't. Therefore, God must have a purpose for her. She told me that I should do the same with my little toe. Every time I look at it, I should be reminded that I am beautifully, uniquely and wonderfully made. Needless to say, I look at my toe a little differently now. Whenever someone tries to make me do something that is just not in my character or I doubt my purpose in this life, I look at my little toe and I'm reminded that God created me uniquely and has a purpose for me that is unique to only me!
With that, I want to encourage any of you out there that may be struggling with insecurity, the pressure to fit in, wondering whether you have a purpose in this life, etc. Rest assured that God knows you, created you beautiful, unique, and wonderful, and has a purpose for you greater than the plans you have for yourself. Never doubt that He sees you, He loves you, and with Him, who is by your side at all times, all things are possible! Don't let anyone, even yourself, convince you otherwise! Stay true to yourself and who God created you to be. He does not call the equipped, He equips the called. Stay Strong!
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it" Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT).
