Little Toes and Scars

To make a 22 year long story short, my life has consisted of people trying to make me something I'm not. Just to set the record straight, sometimes that person was me. I would convince myself that I had to be like "so-and-so", do what "so-and-so" does, or say what "so-and-so" says in order to be who I want to be and get to where I want to be in life. It was not until recently that I discovered all that negativity was just lies holding me back from becoming the person God created me to be. For the purpose of this blog entry, allow me to share this with you all. I was born with no bone in the second to last toe on my right foot; a trait I recieved from my mother. All my life I have had people both grossed out and fascinated by it. I was even offered surgery to fix it when I was younger, but I rejected the offer. After all, it's pretty unique. The best part is that I LOVE sandals! Now, I told you that to tell you this story.
I walked into class on a regular Wednesday afternoon and my teacher, who I love dearly, could instantly read the stress and frustration in my eyes. I proceeded to tell her all the things in my life that was bothering me, as I do just about every week. It was then that I began to notice the frustration in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she told me about someone making a certain negative remark about me and my singing technique behind my back the previous week and how she defended me when I wasn't there to defend myself. I thanked her and passively said "story of my life". This comment made her even more irritated and she looked me in the eyes and said, "But there is nothing wrong with your voice. Why would you ever allow people to make you something you're not? You are beautifully, uniquely and wonderfully made!" She then showed me a scar on her leg and told me when she was in the 8th grade, she tried to open a glass door with her foot and her foot ended up going straight through the door. When she tried to pull her foot back out, she cut her leg and left about a 6 inch scar along the side of her calf. She missed the main artery by about 1 millimeter. She could have bled out and possibly died if she would have cut it! Especially considering how big the cut was. Later on, a doctor offered her surgery to get rid of the scar on her leg. She denied it because she said that every time she looks at the scar it reminds her that she could have died, but she didn't. Therefore, God must have a purpose for her. She told me that I should do the same with my little toe. Every time I look at it, I should be reminded that I am beautifully, uniquely and wonderfully made. Needless to say, I look at my toe a little differently now. Whenever someone tries to make me do something that is just not in my character or I doubt my purpose in this life, I look at my little toe and I'm reminded that God created me uniquely and has a purpose for me that is unique to only me!
With that, I want to encourage any of you out there that may be struggling with insecurity, the pressure to fit in, wondering whether you have a purpose in this life, etc. Rest assured that God knows you, created you beautiful, unique, and wonderful, and has a purpose for you greater than the plans you have for yourself. Never doubt that He sees you, He loves you, and with Him, who is by your side at all times, all things are possible! Don't let anyone, even yourself, convince you otherwise! Stay true to yourself and who God created you to be. He does not call the equipped, He equips the called. Stay Strong!
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it" Psalm 139:13-14 (NLT).

Embracing the Silence

This week, I learned something that I found quite interesting! As a musician, I am so preoccupied with listening to and analyzing sounds, that it is hard for me to just sit and appreciate silence. Even in our modern day world, it's so easy to get caught up in our cell phones, our computers, our music, our errands, our responsibilities, our thoughts, the people around us, that we never learn to just stop and embrace silence for a while. A perfect Biblical example of this is Mary and Martha. Luke 10:38-42 says "As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, 'Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.' But the Lord said to her, 'My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her" (NLT). You see, as noble as Martha's efforts were, she was missing the big picture! Jesus, the Lord and Savior of all mankind, the Son of the Living God, the one who raised people from the dead and cured diseases with just a simple touch, was staying in her home! She was so caught up in her tasks, she did not stop to appreciate Jesus' presence! 

 My musicology professor actually made a great point to my class. She said, "If you don't get your necessary amount of silence, your mind can be overwhelmed! Silence can make you a better person and even a better musician!" She then challenged us to stay away from technology and social media for 24 hours or to sit in silence for an extended period of time. The results for those who stayed away from social media were they realized they spent more time having thoughtful conversations with people and were more productive! For those who sat in silence for an extended period of time, they heard sounds that they would have normally overlooked and they felt so relaxed and refreshed afterwards! Friends, I don't know about you, but I don't want to be so caught up in the things I have to do that I forget to give my Lord and Savior the time and appreciation he deserves. One way I like to sit in the Lord's presence for long periods of time is through meditation. It helps me tune out the world around me and just focus on the Lord! I challenge you to just take some time to unplug from the world and sit in God's presence for a while! Take refuge in the fact that He is Lord of ALL and He is greater than anything you could possibly be dealing with! It's in this moment of silence that he will speak to you, comfort you, and give you the rest you need to keep going! Stay Strong! 

Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world. (Psalm 46:10 NLT)

The Kind Words of a Stranger

As my friends and I were walking through the school parking lot one afternoon, a young man stopped us and told us, “Hey, I don’t mean to bother you guys, but The Holy Spirit was convicting my heart to speak to you all and tell you that Jesus loves you”. Me, of course with my “stranger-danger” mentality, I thanked him and told him that he just so happened to be talking to Christ followers. Almost as if to say, “You are wasting your time my friend! Tell that to someone who doesn’t know Jesus and really needs to hear it”. Then he said something that made my day! “Well, the Spirit confirmed with me that He wanted me to speak to you guys. He wanted me to tell you that understanding is on the way”. With just a few simple words, this young man almost floored me! As cliché as that may seem, The Lord knew I needed to hear those words. As we got to talking some more, I felt the anointing and the presence of the Holy Spirit on this young man. He then proceeded to pray for us, even as cars were passing us by (probably thinking we were nuts). I remember leaving that conversation on such a spiritual high and feeling like I was on cloud nine! That was one of the most spiritual encounters I have had in a long time! It’s important to note that the conversation with this young man did not take away all my problems (trust me, the struggle is still very real), but it reminded me that no matter what I may be going through, no matter how difficult or frustrating my situation may be, God is always there! He sees my frustrations, and He cares enough to send me people like that who are going to remind me to keep pressing forward! 

With that being said, I wanted to encourage some of you who may be feeling physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually frustrated, low, and/or stressed. I know it may not seem like it and this may not be what you want to hear right now, but I believe that through our trials, we discover our strength and develop the most as a person. James writes, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing” (James 1:2-4 NLT). It may seem ridiculous to read the words “troubles” and “great joy” in the same sentence, but the key word here is “endurance”. Sometimes, the healing process could be just as painful as the wound because you are taking something that was once broken, and making it whole again. As hard as it may seem, God just wants you to TRUST HIM! I know for a fact this is a lot easier said than done! As stubborn and impatient as I can be, I have struggled with perseverance myself. However, it is because I have experienced the results of perseverance in my own life that I am able to sit here today and tell you that it will be worth it, you just may not see the big picture at this very moment. There is a saying that says, “God gives the hardest battles to His strongest soldiers”. So if your situation seems impossible, I encourage you to think of it this way: God thought you were so STRONG, He gave you the hardest battle because He knew you could get through it with Him! The CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE believes in you that much! I promise you, with faith, you WILL see your situation come to pass! Stay Strong! 

God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him (James 1:12 NLT).

Season of Growth

Life happens in what the Bible refers to as seasons. Rather than just looking at life as merely seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or years passing by, life is looked at as periods of love, laughter, pain, anger, learning, experiences, etc. These past few months, I've realized that I am personally in a season of growth. By this, I simply mean as I read the Word, serve in the house of the Lord regularly, and grow in my faith, God has been teaching me, molding me, stretching me, and opening my eyes to things I didn't see before. He is making me into a new person! He is removing the things in me that are keeping me from reaching my full potential and destiny. While I was talking about this to a good friend of mine, she directed me to Psalm 25 (which is quite long for purposes of this blog so I will not post the whole thing, therefore I encourage you to look it up if you wish) which is basically a poem of David about the Lord guiding you in the right direction and teaching you the way of truth. When I heard this Psalm, I related to it immediately because I felt that this is exactly what I am going through right now. 

With that being said, I wanted to encourage some of those who maybe going through this same season or maybe a similar situation. Whether you are experiencing it in your relationships, in your job or school, or even in your faith, know that God would not be molding you or stretching you if He was not preparing you for something great! I know this season is not the easiest season to be in because, well to be honest, being stretched HURTS sometimes! I know it’s not fun to be pushed beyond your normal limits, to step out of your comfort zone, or to be disciplined in something, but know that God is doing it to benefit you, not to harm you and He is going to bless you because of it! There is no growth without change! “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11 ESV). I want to challenge you to stay consistent in your faith and prayer. Know that the hurt will not last forever! Even when it is confusing and you don't understand why you are being tested, rest assured that there is a reason for it! "For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing" (James 1:3-4 NLT). You will be able to use what you are learning and experiencing now in the future, you just can't see it now because you can't see the big picture. Pretty soon, God is going to reveal Himself to you and you will understand why you are going through what you are going through! Remember, God would not but you in the race if He knew you could not make it to the finish line! Stay Strong! 

For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child. (Hebrews 12:6 NLT)

God's Army

If you will allow me to, let's have a moment of honesty! Anyone who knows me knows I HAD to write an entry on this! I just recently saw some amazing movies this week. One of these movies of course was God's Not Dead. This movie got me fired up about defending God's glory and power, even in our modern day society! The funny thing is defending the Christian lifestyle has been a heavy subject in my life lately. It seems that as I draw closer and closer to God, the people around me understand me less and less. Not that these people became horrible people or I became better than them, we just don't seem to see eye to eye on certain things anymore. I am talking about people who have known me for many years, even my whole life! I believe what they fail to understand is that I am no longer who I use to be, but I am a newly transformed person in Christ. "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" (2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT). At first glance, this may seem like a bad thing, but I chose to take a positive perspective on the situation. After all, I kinda saw this coming. Jesus himself said, “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword. I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. Your enemies will be right in your own household! If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it" (Matthew 10:34-39 NLT). This is not to say that I should view or treat these people differently because we don't see eye to eye, but that we simply agree to disagree and continue to love each other no matter what. Sometimes, the best argument is not to argue at all, but to lead by example, pray for them, and let God do the rest! 

Friends, it's important to understand that through your walk as a Christ-follower, you are going to have people in your life who are going to question why you do the things you do, say the things you say, or think the way you think. Just look at Jesus! Pharisees and scholars questioned Jesus all the time and He was even scorned by the ones He came to save! Personally, I enjoy interacting with these particular people because they help me grow in my faith by teaching me what I need to know to defend it! However, if you don't know the word or are not strong in your faith, the enemy can use these people to bring you down and make you doubt yourself and even God! If the movie taught me anything, it's that God deserves followers who are going to defend His honor, proclaim His power in their lives, and not be afraid to be a representation of His love to others, even in the most unlikely circumstances! Not that God needs us, but He chooses us and uses us to go out into the world and be bold about our faith because He was bold enough to sacrifice His only son for US, even when we didn't deserve it! Do not place anyone above God in your life! Let us dare to be bold enough to display the love Jesus displayed for us EVERYWHERE we go and in EVERYTHING we do! Let us join God's Army and do our part to make sure future generations still know who God is! Stay Strong! 

Everyone who acknowledges me publicly here on earth, I will also acknowledge before my Father in heaven. But everyone who denies me here on earth, I will also deny before my Father in heaven. (Matthew 10:32-33 NLT)

The Enemy

This week has been quite a challenging week for me. The enemy was attacking me with full force and truly testing my patience! Therefore, I wanted to briefly talk about the enemy and who he really is, that way someone reading this won't fall into his trap and can handle anything he may try to throw their way. I feel that most people have a huge misinterpretation on who the enemy is. They hear the word "devil" or "Satan" and they think of a burning red-suited demon with a pitchfork and horns coming out of his head. The truth is Satan was one of God's trusted angels that was cast out of heaven for his pride! Satan despised God so much that he figured, the best way to get back at God is to hurt the one thing God loves the most, His children! The devil is a master of disguise and knows how to use the word, your situation, and even the people around you to bring you down and away from God. "These people are false apostles. They are deceitful workers who disguise themselves as apostles of Christ. But I am not surprised! Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no wonder that his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. In the end they will get the punishment their wicked deeds deserve" (2 Corinthians 11:13-15 NLT). 

The enemy tries to convince us to believe lies like, "You are not good enough", "You can't do that", "So-and-so is so much better than you", "You will never have those things", "You should just quit now while you're still ahead", "God is not really there and even if He was, He certainly doesn't care". The enemy doesn't want you to be happy and he certainly doesn't want you to have what God plans for you! He wants you to doubt God and yourself! The enemy has been using the same tricks of temptation and doubt since the beginning of mankind because he knows what works! Unfortunately for the enemy, him using the same tricks means that we are able to recognize his tricks and know how to resist them! "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure" (1 Corinthians 10:13). Fortunately for us, Jesus came down and defeated the enemy on our behalf! When Jesus died on the cross for us, the enemy no longer had the power to take God's children away from Him! That's why the enemy tries to get into your head because he knows he can not take you away from God, so he tries to make YOU walk away yourself! You have the power and the resources to resist the enemy through Christ! You have the power to look the enemy in the face and declare, "You have no authority to take my joy, my strength, or my life!" My friends, rest assured and rejoice in the fact that the battle has already been fought and WON by our Savior , Jesus Christ! Don't let the enemy rob you of fulfilling your destiny. Know the Word so that the enemy can't use it against you! The most important thing I have learned about the enemy is when he attacks someone with full force, it's because he is afraid of what they are capable of and what God has in store for them! Stay Strong! 

Yes, and the Lord will deliver me from every evil attack and will bring me safely into his heavenly Kingdom. All glory to God forever and ever! Amen. (2 Timothy 4:18 NLT)

Hands and Feet

This week, I have had the opportunity to witness God do some amazing things! Just so you understand where I am coming from, I spend a lot of my free time serving at my church (shocker, I know!). I serve in several ministries so that I may learn what it takes to be a leader of the church, I can connect with others, and I can help expand God's kingdom. Just this past weekend, while I was serving at my church store, I witnessed one of my pastors speak life back into a woman who was going through very difficult times with her family! I was also able to talk to and connect with other Christian leaders who were able to provide me with so much wisdom. I felt truly blessed! The main thing I want to talk about however is something that happened to me one night on my way home from church. I was driving late Thursday night and having all sorts of revelations go through my mind to the point of tears. Then, I saw a girl walking down the street who looked exactly like my sister. I thought about asking her if she could use a ride but instead, I text my sister to see if she was ok. Suddenly, something inside me told me, "What are you doing wasting your time texting your sister when you could be helping that girl?!" I tried to reason with the voice at first by saying something like "Well, I don't know that girl. what if she is crazy or something?" When I got home, I could not shake the image of the girl from my mind. She was all I could think about. I prayed that God would take care of her and forgive my disobedience to act. Today, my father and I were driving home in the pouring rain and we saw two teenaged girls walking down the street carrying boxes. No umbrellas, no rain coats, no rain boots, nothing! Instantly, the image of the girl from the other night popped into my head. Again, I tried to reason with myself, but I decided I was not going to miss the opportunity to serve a second time! I looked at my father and said, "I feel bad for those girls walking in the rain". He turned to me and replied, "Well, what do you want me to do, pick them up?" "Well, yeah". Naturally, my dad looked confused. Many years of being a police officer told him that it was a bad idea! We didn't even make it down the street before my dad said, "You know what, I feel bad too. Let's turn around and ask them if they want a ride". Words cannot even express how happy I was! The girls of course were naturally hesitant getting into a stranger's car, but they were in shock that we even asked! Even though it was raining, I knew we brightened their day! It just so happens that one of my scriptures to read for the night was Matthew 25:35-40, which states, "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me" (ESV). This scripture always touches my heart because Jesus knew the world was (and still is) filled with people who are hungry, thirsty, poor, sick, hurting, lost, and broken. This is why its so important to get involved in helping your community and be the "hands and feet" of Jesus! It's our job to help as many people as we can while we still can! We are walking representations of Christ's love that lives inside us for all the world to see! Through Him, we can help change lives and show people the hope and love they have been looking for! Whether it is a simple gesture or speaking light into someone's darkness, always remember that you can be a solution to someone else's problem! You may not be able to change the world overnight, but it has to start somewhere, so let it start with you! Stay Strong! "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." (John 15:12 NIV)